The city of Oakland has a long history of civil unrest, political activism, militant citizen groups, edgy art, underground activities, and a blatant distrust for the authorities. This is not without reason. It also has a history of corrupt city leaders, murder, criminal enterprise, police brutality, city-sponsored displacement and gentrification, and swift vigilante justice. This city will never be soft and easy and it never stays quiet for long. People who live here accept that and we know that when the city does erupt, the mainstream media will ALWAYS get it wrong. They will always blame the protestors for “riots” even when their reporters witness the brutality of the militarized police firsthand. They will always fall back on the bad reputation of Oakland when reporting a crime or a shooting, instead of looking at how desperate the city’s population has become due to the rising costs of the bay area and the gentrification of the neighborhoods. The cause never matters to journalists, only the effect. This is why many now turn to social media sites for their news instead.

For years a snarky website called IsOaklandBurning? entertained (and pissed off) the population with its constant, giant YES message. It also had more web traffic than nearly any local official news source. Thing is, Oakland does burn a lot of the time and it is never funny when it does. This weekend the city endured what will likely be the worst structure fire in California history with the biggest loss of life. The Ghost Ship warehouse fire started during a party and dozens are still missing and presumed dead. The official death toll tripled overnight and only a fifth of the building has been searched at the time of this writing. There was only one injury reported, and as many reporters have noted, either you got out of the building or you didn’t. Survivors tell of how quickly it went up and how little time people had to flee.

The tone mainstream media has taken with this story is appallingly judgmental, classist, and dismissive. We owe it to the lost to demand better from those who are reporting on their deaths and the lives of those who survived. We need to find a way to honor the victims – which include the Ghost Ship collective – no matter what our opinions may be and to allow space for that grief before going into judgement or repeating what could have saved them, but didn’t. Speculation and small talk for ratings don’t matter right now and who or what caused the fire will come later, with a thorough investigation. Right now local news should be on standby and shut the hell up until every victim is found and named, at least.

Almost all of the victims were vibrant and individualistic – many did not conform to societal norms which the media continues to point out, as if that made them lesser people. They were at this party to dance, to enjoy themselves and to be in an awesome, artistic, and bohemian environment. There are a ton of similar compounds in Oakland and almost none are legal. This is not because the people in them are drug addicts who like living in deathtraps and don’t care about codes or safety as the media would have you believe. It is because these places are the only way that many can afford to live here. The Ghost Ship was not merely a “labyrinthine maze of clutter and wood” as many news sites have reported, it was also a beautiful space that was full of art, makers, and incredible craftsmanship. The tenants illegally living there don’t actually have anywhere else to go and the “rickity staircase made of pallets” was the best idea they had to maximize the space they were sharing.

You won’t hear TV reporters or local politicians admitting or acknowledging things like this. They have spent too long ignoring the housing crisis and are far too quick to look for blame and villainy to point their fingers and cameras at. They aren’t even waiting for the victims to be found and the families to be notified before they start demonizing their choices and making assumptions about their lives. It’s despicable, infuriating, and typical. Tragically they are not alone and tons of people have joined them. Many who once lived in the same type of situation are now quick to talk about the importance of safety and the rules and regulations that they never adhered to. Clubs who have parties that are regularly over capacity are now calling for inspections on rival locations and artists who love opulent fabrics and giant art are suddenly bending over backwards to prove that they are compliant with rules they didn’t know about until yesterday. Armchair philosophers, reporters, politicians and police with hindsight vision and the benefits of traditional housing state over and over that this tragedy was preventable, making sure that everyone knows they are right. It doesn’t matter that they are talking over the bodies that haven’t yet been found and the friends and families who are living in fear and unimaginable grief. All that matters is that everyone agrees that the rules are there for a reason and the authorities are always right.

Fuck that. There will always be unregulated parties. You’ve had them in your own home without a permit or you’ve been to them in art spaces, frat houses, abandoned buildings, clubhouses, box trucks, and living rooms. Half of the bay area has a fondness for fire-based art, thanks to Burning Man and the Crucible and I’m sure you’ve seen fire performances in houses, clubs, or parties that weren’t technically allowed. Perhaps you paid (or charged) at the door of one of these gatherings to chip in for the keg, the food, the cause, the DJ or the band. Maybe you or people you know have lived in spaces just like Ghost Ship so they could keep making music, sewing, building Burning Man art, and painting or sculpting for a living, since they are surrounded by skyrocketing rents and a lack of affordable housing. Live music gigs, raves, and loud parties have been forced into unsafe buildings and illegal venues for years by the very same people, politicians, and authorities who are hijacking this tragedy now to further their own agendas.

Take some time to remember those parties of your past and recognize that it is only through the luck of the draw that you weren’t caught in a deadly trap or a blazing inferno. This doesn’t mean all warehouses should be shuttered, it means that this tragedy could have happened to anyone. Before moving on to who is at fault, think of the people who are dead or still missing and give them the moments and the proper respect they deserve. Shut up about rules and safety check-ins and blame for long enough to acknowledge that more people died in a few precious minutes than they did during the Oakland Hills fire and don’t dismiss, belittle, or demonize them for being where they were. They were celebrating however they wanted to at a party and enjoying life without any idea that it was about to end. Their youth, their lifestyles, appearances, choice of venue or home, and their love for electronic music shouldn’t make them any less important than the homeowners in the hills or the firefighters who are searching for their remains.

We need solutions for sure. And yes, we need some safety regulations and some prioritization. But first, we need to remember the dead – and learn their names. We need to mourn with their families and friends. We need to remember that we are no different and no better, and that we are all touched by this tragedy. There’s a time and a place for armchair wisdom and debates about regulations – and that time is after we give the victims their due.

And in their honor, perhaps then we should also talk about housing, art, affordability, and the policymakers who don’t care about any of these things. We need to have conversations about landlords with ties to city officials and inspectors. We need to protect our artists and help each other stay safe, instead of penalizing and demonizing those who can’t. Our mayor may pretend to care about Oakland’s art culture, but she didn’t hesitate when she stood on the ashes of that building and threatened other spaces like it. The giant warehouse that housed her inauguration is evicting their artists too. This is why we do have to talk about these things – but only after we talk about the lives tragically cut short by a towering wall of flame. Only after we respect and speak about those ‘ravers’ in the same way that we would anyone else. And only after Oakland has time to grieve yet another vital part of its city that has vanished and the many people who were taken too soon.


The Caucus Reality Check

Dear everyone,
Iowa is not the United States. The population is not as diverse as the entire country and their caucus is not really an indicator of how the vote is going to turn out. After all, this is the same caucus that gave the state to Santorum (Mr. “frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex” himself) at one point. Please remember that and a few other things:

1. Liberals and Conservatives alike are HAPPY and gloating that Ted (rabid Tea Party Psychopath) Cruz beat Mr. Hate-Trumpeter. Think about how messed up that really is for a second. Then remember that Rubio is not any more moderate or better than either of the other two and recognize that any one of these three could be in charge of the military, the highest courts, your healthcare and decision-making rights, and the economy if you let them. Still smug and happy?

2. Please consider the fact that whoever wins this election gets to appoint Supreme Court Judges. Plural. Even if your preferred candidate does not win the nomination, you must swallow your high ground and get to the voting booths in order to prevent one of those (hateful, misogynistic, my idea of a vengeful god gives me the power to do anything) guys from having that job.

3. This election brings a chance to demand something different, with AT LEAST two candidates who actually could start that paradigm shift everyone longs for. (One makes my skin crawl but that’s beside the point) The conversation has started just by their involvement in the process. Don’t give up on that or tune it out and remember that you should vote no matter which candidate wins the nomination, even if it breaks your heart.

I know who I will vote for in the primaries and all the way to the end if he manages the nomination, because I long for something different. However, if he does not win the nomination, I’ll hold my nose and my breath to stand with her – because all of the above are NOT OK with me. They shouldn’t be OK for any sane, compassionate person. Only in the most desperate situations can any of them appear to be viable, and only in the darkest times would I long for another Bush to win the nomination.

On that note, I now return you to your regularly scheduled program.
:Steps away from podium:
(and goes here https://go.berniesanders.com/page/content/contribute/)

Black Lives Matter

When I was a little girl my best friend was a boy named Clarence. We played together every day and I still remember the smoky, warm cadence of his mother’s voice as she read to us. I  also remember being told that my friendship with Clarence was going to change once we started school because he was black and I was white. I doubt either one of us would have noticed that fact for years if not for that conversation, as it was simply not something we recognized. As children, we were colorblind. I will never forget the confusion and anger I felt, not understanding why anything had to change at all. I remember the defiance I felt – feeling sure that Clarence and I would be best friends until we grew up and got married. I was 4. I was too young for anyone to steal my naivety and I was angry that anyone doubted our love. In retrospect, it was probably the first moment in my life that truly shaped who I have become.

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It’s been 3 years since the first time I stood at Ground Zero. I remember the emotional toll it took on me and how it felt to be there but not much about the area itself. I had known I would sob. I knew I would mourn E. there. I was not prepared for my initial outburst of tears to have less to do with him and more to do with the sheer overwhelming feeling of heartbreak for every person who lost their lives there and for those who they left behind.

This year I stood there again and was totally bewildered and offended as tourists posed for pictures at the new site. I moved them back from the fountain rails in the new gardens to find the name I was looking for. I walked through the monstrosity that is the “museum” which sells “Never Forget” trinkets like thieves in the temple. I was angry and upset at the world where these things can happen and horrified that such a beautiful place was one that marked such an awful tragedy. This time, my emotions were hot and angry and I wasn’t sure what would happen when I found his name.

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For the last week or so, the very amazing women in my life have been making lists and telling stories about being victimized. As humans we have always bonded over trauma, no matter what our gender is. These stories have broken my heart and made me admire and love the tellers even more fiercely, especially their ability to stay open and vulnerable despite the violence in their lives. Mine is nothing compared to many and when I can be grateful for that, there’s a very serious problem. I was going to skip out on the conversation except that an amazing woman asked us to keep them coming, so that she might be able to post hers someday. So here is mine.

*At age 6 when I had short hair and glasses, a young boy asked me if I was a boy or a girl. He bullied me into showing him when he didn’t believe my answer and then held me down and pulled my hair while telling me that I was the ugliest girl in the world.

*At age 8 my friend’s father started snapping my bathing suit, spanking me and grabbing at me under the water every time we went swimming. We went swimming every day, mostly at his insistence.25 years later, she called to ask if he had been molesting me all the years that he had been attacking her.

*At age 11, I was one of the first girls to wear a bra. Almost every boy in the class had to try to snap it or unhook it every day for the rest of the school year, laughing at my embarrassment and discomfort. Teachers and parents had a ‘boys will be boys’ attitude or a ‘they’re just curious’ excuse when I complained.

*At age 17, I was told that if I wanted to stay where I was living, I had to sleep with the guy who paid rent.

*At age 18, two male friends came to visit from out of town. One molested and mentally abused me, trying to force me to sleep with them both. The other looked at my torn clothes and my tears and only asked why I still wouldn’t sleep with him.

*At age 19 on the first day of a new job, my supervisor stood pressed against my back, grinding into me with his arms around me to show me how the job was done. When I complained to the boss he was called into the office where they proceeded to talk about my mouth for the 10 minutes I listened in before walking out, never to return.

This list could go on and on for every single year if I truly wanted to rehash all the trauma in my life. Instead I’m going to jump right back into the present.

*Every single day at least 3 people (friends and strangers, male and female) mention the size of my breasts and at least one tries to grab or poke them. Every. Single. Day.

*2 weeks ago I danced with a guy who told me I was beautiful when I really needed to hear it. When he got more aggressive and started picking me up, spinning me around and pinning my arms, I protested. He tried to kiss me instead of apologizing. I quit dancing.

*1 week ago I watched an acquaintance get pushy with a friend and many of us helped facilitate her retreat. When his attention turned to me I said no more than 6 times and smacked his hands away repeatedly before getting angry and violent, shoving him off his seat next to me and moving away. When I complained about his behavior to some of the best people I know, their response was that he gets that way when he’s been drinking and his behavior was not anyone else’s problem.

*For the last 3 weeks I have documented constant public threats against one of the best women I know from her ex. This continues every day while we lose sleep from too many miles away.

*In the last 6 months I have listened to men I know who are normally fair minded and sensitive say horrible things. One labeled a recent love a whore as soon as she did not choose him when they were BOTH seeing other people. Another one of my oldest friends JUST asked when younger women started dressing like whores. A third only posts passive aggressive quotes about women’s behaviors or half naked pictures of women on his news feed, all day every day. There have been no less than 4 “you hit like a girl” type demeaning jokes in the last 24 hours that have reached my ears.

PLEASE realize that these stories are everyone’s problems. #YesAllWomen doesn’t exist to bash men, nor does it exist to shove an agenda down anyone’s throat. It is to show you that even the strongest and even-keeled women you know are or have been victims, whether they look like one or not. Sure, not all men display these tendencies – but to hijack the vital conversation or to complain about all the lectures is detrimental to what could be a very big enlightening lesson. In every recent case, it has been MY job to leave the dangerous situations – when it should be that they never happen in the first place. Accept that it happens – that sometimes even the most considerate men have tendencies to lash out at women, just because it is totally ingrained in how we all grow up. Admit that your sons may pick up some of these behaviors – and try to mitigate that osmosis with better teachings and respect. When they start throwing things down girls’ tops or snapping straps, don’t laugh or roll your eyes, and instead show them why it is wrong. Stop being defensive and learn from the women in your life. Then stand up for and with them.  Make the world a better place instead of an angrier one. We beg you.

Fort Hood

Yesterday I found myself really pondering what the hell is going on with the soldiers in Texas. The poor families at Fort Hood are still psychologically damaged from the last rampage and here they have to go through another. My heart breaks for them and it makes me really grateful that none of the soldiers that I know live in Texas…or on a base at all. However, things like this are so preventable and it is so frustrating that they keep happening.

There are 2 things about yesterday’s tragedy that are infuriating. First, the media. Oh my gods the media. What use is a talking head rambling on about what MIGHT have happened for hours while making comparisons to the first tragedy? Why can’t anyone simply say that we don’t know what has happened yet and we will let you know as soon as we do? Why rehash a totally separate incident to death and then guess for hours while calling it news? I will never understand this habit of television journalists. There are thousands of other news stories that really deserve press – there are civil wars happening all over the world, the Troubles are surging again in Ireland, there are scientific breakthroughs and a ton of American news that we never, ever hear about. Instead we get overwrought speculation and false information for hours about a poor guy who went bonkers and took a lot of people with him. Yes, it is a tragedy. Yes, it is newsworthy – but only after we actually have real news about it. The who, whys and wherefores are the important bits and until you have those, stick to the real news that most Americans will never see, instead of saying things like he was wearing combat fatigues and armed. Of COURSE he was. He’s a soldier in the Army on a damn base. How is this something that people wouldn’t know and why repeat those ridiculous facts for hours and hours? This is news?

The second part off this tragedy is that it and others like it are totally preventable. There will be a lot of hand-wringing and false concern about our veterans over the next couple of days. I predict there will be a ton of politicians piggy-backing on this sensationalized story, talking about taking care of our soldiers and how we fail our men and women in the service. We do. That is a fact. However, these same politicians are holding the nation hostage every time there’s a budget meeting and cutting the programs that could help to keep the deficit down and reign in spending. The simple fact that this soldier was apparently in the process of being evaluated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder says volumes about how long it takes and how much red tape our service people have to go through to get help. The commanding officer’s reply to questions about that care was simply “but this takes time”. It shouldn’t. If a soldier is being evaluated and shows signs of mental breakdown, has to start taking medication, or is in distress, that soldier should already be in any program available to help with any mental problem he or she might have, and he or she should be disarmed in the meantime. That is all there is to it.

There are many programs in our country that could easily be cut – social programs, education, science, music and Veteran care should not be on anyone’s list – but they are the first to go, even while the people cutting them are trying to convince their constituents that they care. There will be a lot of finger pointing – the republicans will blame the democrats, the tea party will blame the president and vice-versa. This is a societal problem, not a political one. Don’t be fooled by their pontification and blame. It lies with us all.  We buy into the news that tells us nothing, we watch the channels for hours even though we are getting no information and we vote with our pocketbooks instead of our conscience.

Until that changes, we will continue to have these problems and tragedies. We will continue to pretend that we care while we really just want to be entertained and we will repeat false reports that suit our agendas just like the politicians we settle for in office. And in the meantime, our children, our elderly, our poor, weak and hungry, our soldiers and our future will decrease in numbers and sanity while we sit and wonder what happened.

There are too many victims to count in Texas and in our country. Now soldiers and their families will all have PTSD and other problems, whether they were there or not. Now even I wake up every morning in a slight panic that the enlisted men I care for have to go on a base anywhere, even though there are none in Texas. And I turn off CNN and any other channel that refuses to just admit that they don’t know what’s going on and will only report it once they do – like a responsible news station. Unfortunately, that means I very rarely watch anything at all but at least I take the time to actually think about the families and mourn the lost. I also donate to private programs that can actually help the men and women we send into battle – who can NEVER, EVER return without scars, whether received in combat or not, or if they are visible. Hopefully other people will start doing that too because things like this should not ever be allowed to continue and your politicians really can’t and won’t help.